


"rather in silence with you"

by rhythmandbeat (orphan_account)



Series: "back to the home i used to know" [2]
Category: AB6IX (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 07:27:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20542337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/rhythmandbeat
Summary: “He’s not you, hyung.” The younger reasons and his hand drops from the harsh truth. He knows he’s never going to be enough. He never is enough for him.





	"rather in silence with you"

**Author's Note:**

> I have so much angst to give.

Donghyun slowly opens the white door and is met with nothing but darkness.

He is not very much surprised. Not anymore because he’s gotten used to this. How each day feels like nothing but nothingness. How each day turns to a bitter taste.

There is a sniffling sound and he turns around to see the younger man at the farthest corner under the table, chin tucked on his knees, and trying to be as little as possible as he can ever be. Donghyun sighs and walks up to where he is.

  
Donghyun sits and waits till the other notices. He’s always been waiting till the other finally notices. It’s been years and everyone they know knows about it. Everyone except for the fool.

  
The fool used to be the man with confidence and more. The man who could brighten up anyone’s day and more. The fool used to be so much more of the chaos he is right now and Donghyun is getting more used to this side of him.

  
Vulnerable --- hurt --- indignant. They are becoming him.

  
Fell in love with a guy that had his heart on his palm and broke it into million pieces and stomped onto them repeatedly. The fool fell in love with the wrong guy.

  
And he? He’s here. Inches away since the very start and yet still feels the farthest away from him.

  
“Hyung?” The fool looks at him, only his eyes can be seen and Donghyun stares at him. “Hyung.” Hesitation never sounds this real. “I’m tired. I’m so tired of the wounds that would never heal. I--- I just want to heal.”

  
The elder reaches for his hands and realizes that it’s been too long since the last he’s held them together. They are more calloused and harder than they should be. All the hard work the fool is doing to slowly pierce the pieces back together with his bare hands.

  
“Come back.” He tells him.

  
To the guy he’s learned to love and let go. To the guy with a sunshine smile and personality. To the guy who used to love without being broken.

  
“I can’t.”

  
“You can.”

  
“I still need more time. More space. I just---”

  
“Woojinie,” Donghyun calls softly as the other avoids his gaze. The younger hates the look he’s giving him, he can tell. “when you said you needed time and space, I gave you. You have been 325 kilometers away from me for a year and you’re still telling me you want more. I’m starting to think that even if we’re universes apart, it still wouldn’t be enough for you.”

  
_Please see me._

“Then go.” Woojin whispers, unsure always unsure. “Leave."

_I don’t wanna go. Not without you._

  
“Leave.”

  
“Why ---why don’t you just see me?” His lips quiver as soon as the question leaves off his mouth. They taste bitter in his mouth. “Why can’t it just be you and I? Why – why can’t you just be with me?”

  
“He’s not you, hyung.” The younger reasons and his hand drops from the harsh truth. He knows he’s never going to be enough. He never is enough for him.

  
The elder nods and gathers all the breath he’s been holding so far. “I know.” _I’m the only fool who’s deluding myself that maybe I can be enough of a replacement for him_. “I’m sorry. I was a fool to think it could be.”

  
He wipes the offending tears falling from his eyes, looks up, sniffles, and runs his hands on his face. “Worth a shot, I guess.”

  
He stands up and then looks down at the younger man. “I just wish you could see yourself the way I see you. The way you held your head up high. The way you smiled and how the stars pales in comparison to you. The way you laughed and how the flowers bowed with each sound. The way --- the way you are and god, Woojin, I would give up everything --- anything --- to hear you, to see your laugh again.”

  
Woojin holds onto his knees tighter instead. Donghyun is met by silence and decides that maybe, this is the last time he’s ever trying again. This is the last time he’s going to make a fool out of himself. This is the last time he’s giving himself the benefit of the doubt.

  
It’s a lost case battle even from the beginning. So he walks away, hand on the knob, twisting it.

  
“He’s dead.” There is nothing but resignation in his voice. “That boy you used to know is long gone and dead.”

  
He bites his lips, to stop himself from responding back. He’d bare his heart out and it would still be the same and Donghyun is just so tired.

  
Donghyun leaves and walks away from the dimmed light room but he’d rather sit in silence and broken pieces with Park Woojin than be walking out of his life. He’d rather take the deafening silence than welcome the colorful noises outside this. Kim Donghyun would rather be with Park Woojin.

_But Park Woojin doesn't want him to._

**Author's Note:**

> I've decided to write more AB6IX related things so if you want, IF you want, you can request any pairings (coughs) and prompts [HERE AND DEAL WITH MY SHITTY WRITINGS](https://curiouscat.me/rhythmandbeat)


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